MUSIC: “I Get Around” by the Beach Boys

Voiceover: 
New and improved Swiffer Dusters with Dust Lock Adhesive can clean virtually every surface in your home.

Its thousands of fluffy fibers pick up dust here, there, pretty much everywhere. And Swiffer Dusters traps 3 times more dust than a feather duster and locks it away.
  
MUSIC CONTINUES

Voiceover: 
Swiffer cleans better or your money back.

(MUSIC PLAYS)   

OLD RESIDUE:  
I’m just a bit of residue left behind by some mop.

OLD RESIDUE (FLASHBACK):
Why you…  

OLD RESIDUE:  
Nobody’s taken a shine to me in a long time.  Phooey. I don’t need anybody…but you!

LICENSED MUSIC: 
I believe in miracles

(MUSIC CONTINUES)
Voiceover:    
Swiffer attracts dirt.
Used mops can push muddy water around. Swiffer WetJet’s new, upgraded solution helps prevent streaks and residue to reveal more shine than a mop or your money back.
    
OLD RESIDUE:  
You’re a fresh Swiffersnapper!

BIG DIRT: Hey, Lil’ Dirt!  You get into the dustpan last night?
LIL DIRT: WHOA! 
LIL DIRT: Nah, Big Dirt.  I don’t always get picked up there.
BIG DIRT: We might never find love.
LIL DIRT: Hey gorgeous!
MUSIC BEGINS: What About Love!
AVO: Swiffer Sweepervac attracts dirt.
It cleans better than a broom with power-packed suction
for the big stuff and electrostatic dry cloths for the rest.
LIL DIRT: I’m so happy!
BIG DIRT: Me too, Lil Dirt.
AVO: Cleans better than a broom or your money back.